{"product_id":"seasoned-with-trauma-vintage-chef-strap-apron","title":"Seasoned With Trauma — Vintage Chef Strap Apron","description":"Every great dish has a secret ingredient.\u003cbr\u003e\nFor some, it's a pinch of salt; for others, it's a generous dash of existential dread and unresolved issues. This strap apron features a cheerfully oblivious vintage chef, happily seasoning his latest creation with a jar clearly labeled \"TRAUMA.\" It’s the perfect uniform for anyone whose cooking is as complex as their emotional landscape. Add a pop of character (and a side of angst) to your cooking routine.\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Boring Specs (for the organized):\u003cbr\u003e\n100% Polyester: Smooth fabric that protects your clothes from culinary chaos and emotional spills.\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect Fit: Size 31.5″ × 25.6″ (80 cm × 65 cm) with a comfortable tie-back closure.\u003cbr\u003e\nOne Size Fits Most: Because trauma is a universal experience.\u003cbr\u003e\nSingle-Sided Design: The \"Seasoned With Trauma\" masterpiece appears on the front, where everyone can see it.\u003cbr\u003e\nGlobally Sourced: Blank product sourced from Vietnam and printed with pure unhinged energy.\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: May not actually improve the taste of your food, but it will definitely make it more authentic.","brand":"Unhinged and Underpaid","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42813351886919,"sku":"8432253_23723","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0680\/0559\/3159\/files\/all-over-print-5-color-strap-apron-black-one-size-front-6a1240444bc91.jpg?v=1779581011","url":"https:\/\/unhingedandunderpaid.com\/products\/seasoned-with-trauma-vintage-chef-strap-apron","provider":"Unhinged and Underpaid","version":"1.0","type":"link"}